I’ll probably refer to my half century status a lot these next 31 days. Sorry, but it’s a big deal. Fifty years is a long time. I’m well into middle age and have lots of experience and maybe a little wisdom. As you’ve probably heard, people don’t usually feel their age. I still often think like a child and act like a child, but I hope, for the most part, I’ve put childish ways behind me.
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1Corinthians 13:12
I still have a ways to go. The “then” this verse talks about is entering into eternity after our earthly death. We shall know fully. All the questions I’ve ever asked of God, all the whys and the how comes and the questions about how could you, God, let these things happen to the world you love will be answered. I have doubts because I don’t know fully but I am known fully. The one who created my innermost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb and knows every thought and word I will ever think or speak cares for me. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, I don’t feel known. A book I’m reading titled The Anatomy of the Soul says that
You cannot know God if you do not experience being known by him. The degree to which you know God is directly reflected in your experience of being known by him. And the degree that you are known by him will be reflected in the way in which you are known by other people. In other words your relationship with God is a direct reflection of the depth of your relationship with others.
Wow, this really resonated with me. I often keep people at a distance, so this is saying I must keep God at a distance too. The author goes onto say
Perhaps you have not experienced what it means to be truly known; consequently you have limited experience in opening yourself up to God in this way. You may have grown up in a family in which your emotional life was either unattended to or overwhelmed by caregivers who were themselves burdened with the weight of their own emotional conflicts-
Now this book is actually about neuroscience and how our brains and nervous systems are wired according to our experiences with others. Science confirms the spiritual experience of being known by God. It’s a fascinating book, I picked it up because it was recommended at a parenting adopted children conference. It speaks about attachment and parenting and how we are affected by the way were brought up. So while I thought I was done looking at my past, I’m realizing it could actually hold keys to my relationships now.
Anyway, this is one topic I will probably return to often during the next 31 days. How being known( or letting yourself be known) leads to knowing God.
A few facts about me then: I’m almost 50, like I said. I’ve been married almost 24 years I’ve been a mother for 28 years. I have five children, two married sons, an 18 year old daughter, a 13 year old son and an almost 10 year old daughter. When she turns ten it will be the first time that all my children will be in the double digits. I have a large span of ages and large gaps between each child.
I want to write more and better that’s why I took the 31 day challenge. I don’t have a lot of time in the day though so there will probably be many days that posts are short and words are few.
I hope to follow others and maybe a few will follow along with me.