If you read my last post it was a celebration of 30 years without a drink. Thirty years free from the bondage of addiction. While that’s a huge burden lifted it certainly doesn’t mean I’ve been free of trouble the last 30 years. Getting addiction out of the way left life on life’s terms, as they like to say, and that’s a whole ‘nother hurdle.
In the six years after getting sober I had a baby, finished my associates degree got married, had another baby all while moving from Massachusetts to Virginia to West Virginia and back to Virginia. Phew. Learning how to be a mother and a wife and sometimes an employee without drinking was not easy. I prayed a lot, God heard my prayers and led me to Jesus. My husband and I both became Christians.
I stopped living for myself and began an everyday odyssey in which I live for Jesus and his glory. I’m still trying to figure out what that means. I stumble and fall as often as I stand tall.
The adage holds true that the longer I live the less I know or am sure of. But thankfully, though I’ve wrestled with doubt and have questioned God’s wisdom, have been tempted to step away not only from church but Jesus too I keep coming back, or God keeps showing up and bringing me back.
I want to run after the things of the world, I want nice things, and amazing experiences, but what if my calling, my purpose is just here just now. What if the next great experience is learning to be content with what’s right in front of me. I’ve mentioned before that I’m waiting and listening closely for God’s direction. Psalm 16 is speaking to me teaching me to stay close and trust in God’s wisdom, protection and provision.
Keep me safe, my God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”
3 I say of the holy people who are in the land,
“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.
5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
This coming week Ash Wednesday will kick of the Lenten season, which is the forty weekdays leading up to Easter, or Resurrection Sunday. I have plans to observe lent this year. I’ve been reading up on what that means and I’ll be posting what I’m doing. I plan to spend a lot of time reflecting on what God has done in my life, what He may want me to do and how to move forward after Easter.
Do you observe lent? How does that make a difference in your life?